


Three Tentacles On A Shirt

by flippac



Category: The Laundry Files - Charles Stross
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-08 00:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16419083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flippac/pseuds/flippac
Summary: A near-miss at a departmental sportsball game. Takes place after The Delirium Brief.





	Three Tentacles On A Shirt

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Laundry HR Contest Entry 229](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/427022) by Ian Mackenzie. 



Don't ask me how, but we still have time for departmental sportsball under The New Management. Thankfully I'm not obliged to participate. Something about soul-eating being a foul. But I do still have to watch whatever messes unfold.

"I see the tradition continues! Whose head are you using?" asks the crawling chaos, casually.  
"Um, we don't do that any more. It's not even a pig's bladder, just plastic."  
"We'll have to change that, can't be letting our children grow soft, what?"  
"As you say."

Unfortunately, one of the players by the side notices the Management has entered the building. And it had to be Eric - we've long suspected his occasional uncanny insight was the strange upside of early-stage K Syndrome. The panic, not so much.

"Fuck! Nya-" - thankfully I had time to tackle him before he could get out "-rlathotep! Run!", and it was too muffled for anyone to notice.  
"Sorry boss, Eric's got a bit of a fascination with Japanese cats. We had to confiscate all his Sanrio goods. People round the office have taken to calling him the Nekomancer."  
"How amusing, Howard-san! Do make sure Eric-kun is looked after, we wouldn't want any accidents."  
The boss knew I was lying of course, and so did everybody else. But sometimes obedience means putting on a good show. I'd talk to Eric later.

I sat back down again. Next to me, the Senior Auditor congratulated me on a good save. But he sounded hollow, distant, full of loathing. Self-absorbed in the worst of ways. 

"Bob, you have no idea how much I hate myself."


End file.
